Illusions That Make Single Moms Depressed
Illusions That Make Single Moms Depressed And Stressful
Single moms sometimes come with no choice, meaning once you are a single mom, you are a damn single mom. Own it. There is nothing to be ashamed off or that you may have done something wrong. That is why you may be creating these illusions in your head which make you single moms stressful and depressed since your partner left you.
No! Maybe, God had better plans for you that would not have come true if your partner was with you. Therefore, single moms out there, stop being depressed!
Here are a few things I am listing below so that next time you feel the same way, you become conscious and aware that you own being single moms and its okay!
Single Moms Being Lonely and Worried About Playing the Daddy Role!
I know, I have been there too but do you know how important it is for you to not play the dad card along with you being moms? You know why? Let me tell you. You are already working day and night to provide for your family and you have a lot of stuff on your plate to deal with which your husband once dealt with.
As for you, all I can suggest you as a friend is to stop thinking that “If I am a single mom now, I have to be both mom and dad for my kids.” NO. Stop this thought right now because listen, you are a freaking role model for your kids. They will appreciate you one day for all the hard work you did for them.
Secondly, you can focus on doing all the stuff you as a mom are supposed to do. I think you are good to go with anything in life. When single moms do that, I am pretty sure they won’t have to feel lonely and depressed as a mom about being able to fulfill the need of a day in their child’s life. You are enough, stable and a strong woman your child will ever need.
Single Moms Should Keeping Track of What They are Supposed To Do!
Okay so, I know since you are the one doing everything in the house from calling electricians when there is any technical issue to cooking food for your child.
Here is what I need to tell you to get your life on track. Create a schedule of the things you are supposed to do. So when you create a schedule by writing down your to-do list, you will soon realize that when you follow that schedule and complete everything you wrote you‘d still have plenty of time left in the day.
With that, you will be able to give yourself free time. You will also be able to keep a check on your children as well and the activities they are involved into and you will feel good at the end of the day.
With the schedule of yours you followed and stayed loyal to, you will be able to know what to prioritize and what not to. You will be focused and you will slowly get rid of the activities you daily did that took most of your time.
Using the same tone and strategy to talk and deal with every child
I am not sure if you have heard this or not but if not, let me tell you all your kids are going to be different from each other. They will behave differently, react differently and will tend to be sensitive on things you had never thought they would.
Every child is important. Do you know when parents separate, children get affected the most? The reason this affects them a lot is because they once saw both of their parents together when they were younger. Now when they are growing up, not seeing their parents together makes their mind not accept it. They may become distant to you or react to what you say in an undesirable manner.
That is okay. You are an adult, a mom above all of it. You may adjust with the situation but maybe it is harder for them most.
Every child is different
So back to the point, do not expect your child to behave, learn and act the same way as your other kids. Do not expect all of them to do the same thing you want them to do.
Every child picks a pace of his/her self and if you try to do same with all of them with one strategy fixed in your head then you will not realize but all your children might have trouble communicating with you. Single moms should know how to be the best parent in the world and not be depressed. You have to communicate with your child.
So do not use the old same strategy over and over again. You can’t expect a child born in 21 century to with your old ways. At first, it might seem that is working for you, later on, it might not.
Be appreciative of your all kids being different from each other. Be the best friend that they can ever have. Do not be a controlling friend who does listen but wants to go things in their way.
You must have a friendlier approach. Be open to what they have to say and want, as you know your child already does not have a father.
Make single parenting easy
You’re still a mother to your child whether you as a single mom are lonely and depressed or not. To make single parenting easy for yourself, the storm going inside should be treated. You need to how cope with depression.
I know you would have thousands of thoughts that make your parenting journey hard. If you are aware of what is happening you can reduce the burden that you carry on your shoulders.
You can make parenting fun and enjoyable. So what if you do not have a partner to be there for you to give you support. What you have right now is far more beautiful than anything else is in the world. Do you know what that is? Your child, who is the best gift the universe may have given you.
So to all the single moms out there, stop stressing and MAKE YOUR LIFE EASY.
Enjoy the process of being a single mom!!
In my next post, I will tell you the advantages being single moms. So that you start feeling good with your current situation. Who knows this is something you might be looking forward to hear out.